by Dondi Scumaci 
When I think about the challenges women encounter on the path to success, I am often drawn back to their strengths. What makes women extraordinary can also trip, block, or blind them. Especially when it comes to carving out a path that is as unique as you are, your strengths can become stumbling blocks.
Perhaps you can relate to a scene like this one: Terri is really good at receiving what comes her way. Even when the “kitchen sink” is thrown at her, she is incredibly resilient. She steadies herself, straightens her skirt, and learns how to carry the load. She is responsive and responsible, so what’s the problem?
This willingness and ability to persevere and rise to the occasion is remarkable. It can also create an exhausting cul-de-sac in our lives—an endless circle (or cycle) of checking boxes and crossing tasks off the list; of being where we are supposed to be, when we are supposed to be there, looking the part and playing the role, no matter what.
I recognize this behavior, because for years it was my personal trademark. I was great at handling what came my way, but I wasn’t designing a life or a career with intention, purpose, or focus. I wasn’t negotiating for the experiences I needed to grow. I didn’t explore my options, and I wasn’t marketing myself or making my progress visible to others. I didn’t have a career plan; I had a to-do list!
The first step in breaking out of a loop like that is recognizing you’re in one! (Cul-de-sacs are not paths; they are circles. They do not move us forward; they move us around and around and around.) If the scenery never changes, it’s likely you’ve been this way before. Are you ready to do a new thing to get a new result? If so, here are a few steps you can take to create your path and enjoy the journey more:
Find Your Gaps, Then Build Your Bridge
The most successful people I know have a vision. They can describe in vivid detail where they want to be in five or even ten years. This picture includes what they are working on, what they are earning, and the difference they are making. They can list the skills they have acquired, the results they’ve achieved, and the résumé they’ve built. They can talk about this future condition as if it were a current reality.
I encourage you to take the time to develop that kind of vision for your life and career. If ten years is too far away and overwhelming, adjust your lens. Can you see one year from now? Perhaps three?
Once your picture comes into focus, do a gap analysis. Compare where you are now with where you want to be in the future. Look for gaps in experience, skill, education, your reputation, or network. Then go to work building a bridge from here to there!
An important part of every good bridge is mentoring. Look for people who are where you want to go, doing what you dream of doing. Once you find them, engage! Ask questions, study them, and invite their perspective. Surround yourself with people who will remind you how possible possibility really is.
Challenge Your “To-Do” List
Are you mistaking activity for progress? That’s a common trap. There is a nagging voice of efficiency that invites us to make lists and check them twice. Challenge your list! Look for the impact of your actions. Think about the purpose behind the tasks. Instead of thinking about the to-do, imagine the “ta-da!”
Step away from the tasks, and picture the outcomes for a moment. What do you really want to accomplish? What will make the greatest difference? What result would be deeply satisfying?
With outcomes firmly in mind, develop action plans that move you steadily forward.
Learn How to Advance Your Scenes
Improv Theater is a marvelous metaphor, because skilled improvisers know how to accept what comes “at them,” and they know how to advance the scene. Improvisers have an objective in mind. Even when they want to change the direction of the scene, they receive the “offer” and move forward from there.
One of my favorite examples of this is a banking story. A young bank teller wants to “jump the career track” and become a loan officer. (That, by the way, is quite a leap.) She receives her “offer” by learning everything she can about the lending process. From the teller line, she becomes the top referral source for loans within the organization. She networks with loan officers and builds strong business relationships. Before her title ever changes, her peer group does. What a marvelous example of using your current situation to create a new opportunity. That is accepting the offer and advancing the scene!
Where do you want to be in one year, three years, or five years? How can you practice the art of improvisation by using what comes in real-time to direct the scenes of your life?
As you begin taking steps like these, something marvelous is going to happen. You will see things you didn’t notice before. People will cross your path, and information will come your way. You will feel more confident and powerful. Opportunities will present themselves, and the scenery will change. You will look around and realize the difference between turning in circles and making the turn.
