It’s 2012 , what a wonderful time!
This year we’re not only celebrating entering into a new year, but also going fully into a new decade. This is the perfect time and opportunity to make a difference in your life. So, what is your goal? Wait! Before you even state it, let’s ensure that you are fully equipped with the ability to stick to it this year. If you’ve had any difficulty following through with your resolutions in the past, this year, your primary resolution should be to stick to your resolution once and for all!
How, you ask? Good question.
Studies show that many set resolutions to stick to, but find that by mid-February to early March of the same year, most if not all have abandoned the resolutions they’ve so earnestly set forth for the year. Why is this? It’s easy to make a statement and hope for the best. The tough part is the implementation of the goal.
Many people rush into their resolutions full throttle without establishing a plan to ensure that the goal gets accomplished, and once they get started, keeping up with the goal nearly feels like the possibility of 12-month long sentence, and they opt to abandon it often feeling the ambivalence of liberation and freedom from the sentence and guilt or disappointment for giving up prematurely or failing. 2012 will NOT be the year that we let our resolutions fall by the wayside. With this 5-step process, we’ll enter this decade with optimism and the tools to ensure that we all finally reach our goals!
Be Specific
When formulating your resolution, think with specificity. Avoid only arriving at a goal. Go further to describe how you intend to accomplish it. It isn’t enough to say that I want to lose weight or I want to make new friends. Making your resolution a specific statement such as, “I will lose 20 pounds by becoming more physically active and consuming healthy, nutrient-rich foods,” or “I will establish new friendships by visiting new places and initiating conversations with people that I do not know,” literally calls into being the thing that you want while simultaneously giving you tasks to perform in effort to accomplish your goal. Without a plan to ensure that the goal actually gets accomplished, you’ll more than likely fail to accomplish the goal.
Set Realistic Mini-goals
Once you’ve come up with your resolution statement, go even further and begin creating a plan to carry it out. Develop a list of mini goals that can be accomplished throughout the year at your pace. The overall goal of starting a new business venture, losing weight or getting out of debt can seem to be quite daunting when you consider doing them all at once or even within just one year, but it doesn’t have to be daunting or intimidating at all. Take these goals and break them down into steps. If the goal is to start a new business, consider what steps will be involved in this endeavor and allow for a realistic timeline to complete each goal. Your list should include items such as, “Research the process of securing a business license by 1/31/2012.” This gives you something that can be accomplished fairly easily and a time frame in which to complete it. Creating this list not only allows you to see all that is involved in the process of reaching your goals, it also allows you to track your progress. Seeing steady progress is a huge reward! Whether your goal is large or small, it is always very encouraging to feel you’re moving just a little closer to it on a regular basis.
Be Flexible
If your standards for yourself are too rigid, your goal may begin to feel like a chore, and I don’t know anyone who enjoys doing chores. Start slowly. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and let’s face it, you didn’t become who you are in a day either. It will take time to kick your old habits and start new ones, so allow yourself some flexibility to learn the best path to your goal. If you go off track, don’t feel guilty or criticize yourself. Allow yourself room to be human.
After all, who says the New Year is the only time to begin working toward a resolution? Check in with yourself regularly to determine how much you’ve progressed. Mark your calendar for a mid-year update and if necessary, set a mid-year (or even a late year) resolution that gets you back on track to meeting your goal. So what if you started off with can-do attitude and by mid-February your motivation has fizzled and your shiny new resolution was swept under the rug or maybe even out the door.
You still have time…don’t you? As long as you collect yourself and get back on track, you’re still making progress.
Support Yourself
Even the most successful individuals have a support system. Tell a friend, family member or co-worker about your new goal or solicit the help of a professional working in the area in which you desire to progress (i.e., a life coach, therapist, personal trainer, accountant, etc.) or join a group of people interested in accomplishing the same or a similar goal. The more people in your life that can hold you accountable and encourage you in the process, the more likely you’ll be to feel confident in your pursuit. Steer clear of sharing your goal with people who may criticize you if they notice you going off track if this is offensive to you. Feeling as though you’re under a microscope is yet another way to heighten pressure. This process should be new and exciting, not anxiety provoking. Ensure that you’re making choices that you’re confident you can commit to. Also, avoid choosing to engage in any activity in which you cannot afford to invest adequate time or money. If you find your time or financial resources running low, you’ll kick your new habit even faster than you started it.
Have Fun!
Let’s face it, if it isn’t fun, oftentimes, we don’t feel it’s worth doing. There are tons of different paths to any one destination. So, if weight loss is your goal and you hate the gym, avoid it at all costs, but don’t abandon your goal because of your disdain for the treadmill and elliptical. There are plenty of creative ways to get active. Take a yoga class or walk a trail in your neighborhood. Surf online for free workouts via You Tube or pop your favorite CD in the player and dance the night away. If you want to make new friends, determine the types of people you’d like to meet and strategically choose exciting places you’ve never visited (but maybe always wanted to), go there and strike up conversations to meet new and interesting people.
There is ALWAYS more than one solution. So, make it easy on yourself by choosing ways to bring your resolution to fruition that are fun for you. If you don’t enjoy yourself in the process, you’re more likely to call it quits before the goal is accomplished. If you’re having a ball doing it, you’ll fall in love with the process and stick to it far longer thereby significantly increasing the likelihood of ultimately reaching your goal.
The simple thought of failure often cripples us by playing over and over again in our minds. Before long, failure, not the identified goal, becomes the dominant thought, and the beautiful outcome of achieving that awesome new goal fades to the background. The key to achieving our goals is allowing the goal, not our fears, to be in the forefront and establishing awesome new habits that are in alignment with our goals which, unfortunately, is often the part that is overlooked.
Oftentimes, if we don’t see progress immediately, we become overwhelmed with disappointment and highly frustrated. In the process of change, we must be gentle and patient with ourselves. It took us time to become the people that we are, and so, realistically, it will take us time to develop, implement and master new habits to move in the desired direction. With diligence, faith, self-love, creativity and flexibility, we’ll be certain to see the greatest of our dreams come true!
Best of luck to you and best wishes for a happy and fulfilling New Year!
About Author
Janell A. Morgan, MSW, LICSW, LCSW-C is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in private practice based in Largo, MD.
FACE Magazine is soliciting readers who wish for Janell to respond to their most burning questions about life, spirituality, love, and relationships. If you would like Janell to respond to your question or if you wish to share a response to her columns, submit your inquiry or response to submit@facethemag.com .
